The Jokes Thread

That joke was so stupid, I actually found it funny.

Man who scratch ass

should not bite fingernails.

>_>
<_<
...interesting.

There are two muffins in the oven.

One muffin says to the other muffin "is it getting hot in here?"

The other muffin says "holy hell, a talking muffin!"



yep, thats all I got

^ that's so stupid but LMAO

:LOLL

omg thats great Steve hahahha.

Why does Santa not smoke?

Cos its bad for his elf.........

^ I didn't get it..

I heard this one on TV:

there's a magical slide what ever you say when you're sliding it you land in it! three people slided the first one said gold when he was sliding and he landed in gold the second one said diamonds and he landed in diamonds the last one said weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
guess what he landed in??

^^ HAHAHAH. elf.... sounds like health. nice...


@ Dania



HAHAHAHAHAHHA

A blonde called a travel agent and asked, "How long is a flight from New York to San Francisco?"
"Just a minute," said the agent.
The blonde said thank you and hung up.

How do you get a blonde on the roof?
Tell her the drinks are on the house.

^ The trip from New York to San Francisco is on minute??? What??!

^.... O_O

When people are trying to find something, they sometimes say "hang on a second" or "one minute" while they look....
the blonde though the person meant the flight was one minute....

^ oh oh oh !!! I totally thought the same thing as the blond!! I thought it was one minute!!!! O_O O_O OMG I'm so stupid!!!!

XD

^^^ HAHAAH, Dania, oh my god.


^ *dies*
That
is
HAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

StartSomething wrote:

There is a naked woman in the
shower, she hears a knock at the door

"Who is it?" she says

"Blind man" is the reply

"OK, come on in then"

.........

"Nice boobs, where do you want your
blinds"

Nice one Steve but it's a bit old I remember hearing it when I was in the fifth grade!!!

Rynne I KNOW!!!

Jack had been playing outside with 20 other children for a while when he came into the house and asked his grandmother: 'Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.' Little Jack just said: 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other children again. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily: 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds and Ben's mum wants to talk to you.'

HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAH

Funny.

Lawl.

Here's one;

Mickey & Minnie Mouse are in court getting a divorce.

Judge: So, Mickey, you want a divorce because Minnie is crazy?
Mickey: No. She's fucking Goofy!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

amazing.

HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA both of jokes are SO funny!!

nice one Kay

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He
stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The
priest had a look and nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm
129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to
remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the
priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!

^ OMG THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!